April
Quick check in on my goals/aspirations/dreams/yada yada for 2017.
8 hours of sleep // At this point, I’m planning on just sleeping after graduation. Seven is sufficient and will do for now. Eight is WAY BETTER for your health, but I’ve gotta compromise with reality at seven. Ay seven is my lucky number.
Minimize // I conducted the PURGE II and removed a few more unnecessary items to sell and donate. I’ve come to realize that one of my biggest flaws is associating random objects and articles of clothing with sentiment. The PURGE III will directly combat this issue, but ya girl is not ready for that yet.
Quality content for this blog // Oh man, I’ve been pretty MIA and it comes from my lack of organization and just general busyness. Nay, lack of prioritization. I really do enjoy writing, reflecting, contemplating, complaining, taking photos, editing, and all that jazz; it’s come to be one of my hobbies. I definitely need to get back into a regular groove.
Monthly budgets // I honestly spent so much this past week, any ounce of monthly budget has collapsed. It’s okay for now, but post-grad I need to get a system in place, otherwise mom and dad I’m coming for you!!!
Explore career options // Nada. I think I’m being pulled in more ways for better or worse. I haven’t focused on this as much as I would like. I think I’ve been trying to get through school. Ugh, balance has not been a thing as of recent.
Attend a music festival // I bought tickets for Capitol Hill Block Party and I’m going to count that for now. I almost bought tickets for Sasquatch and THANK GOD I didn’t. I thought about getting a day ticket for Friday to see Frank Ocean, but he just dropped out. Honestly, quite a disappointing lineup in comparison to last year.
Cue the melodramatic feelings:
April was WEIRD.
What a strange month it was. I honestly did not think spring quarter would move this fast. I should have known though; every quarter has exponentially sped up looming closer and closer to graduation. I returned from spring break and immediately hit the ground running. With May here now, I feel like I’m finally getting a breath of fresh air and taking a step back, realizing how different life already is.
Throughout April, I felt like I had absolutely no concept of time. My first two weeks of the quarter were the most social I’ve been in my four years here - I was doing or hanging out with someone every single day. It was great until school really kicked in and I was playing catch up (but really it was worth it). For whatever reason, I’ve been scheduling things out, but always scrambling to finish an item at the last moment. Organization wise, my life has been in disarray. The ultimate self sabotage.
This disarray may stem from the realization that things have kinda changed. In my mind, this is supposed to be an “easy” quarter, relaxed and fun. I had this idealized vision of everyone finishing classes and hanging out in the quad or going down to the WAC to canoe in the sun. Instead, we’ve all been frantically planning out our futures, making decisions on grad schools, debating about whether to stay in Seattle or move home or across the country or even the world, and denying the fact that we have a few weeks left of undergrad and ultimately a good chunk of our education.
This image became disillusioned when I noticed the small changes in my daily life. I’m not in classes where I know everyone anymore. We’re all finishing up our last few credits to fulfill our major and graduation requirements. GRE and MCAT prep or work consume the remainder of time when people are not in class. The rest is filled attempting to half-ass homework to get it complete and then scrolling with our thumbs through Facebook notifications and Instagram likes to creep on what everyone else is doing with their lives and reassure ourselves.
All of this turmoil, if you will, revolves around the ever present enigma called change. Change isn’t bad. It’s time that’s messing it up. I just wish it would all slow down. Slow down enough so I can catch a glimpse instead of watch it whiz by. A lot of the time we don’t see it because it’s prolonged, gradual, incremental. This last quarter is the culmination of eleven previous quarters (how in the world did I survive eleven?), the last chapter.
What’s been the most difficult for me personally is accepting the fact that everyone’s lives have already dramatically changed. New priorities and obligations have taken over and coordinating schedules has been a major hurdle. I want to spend as much time as possible together with these random people I met in a little town called Seattle and now regard as some of my closest friends. And it just feels like no one wants to make an effort, and I get that they’re busy but I just want to savor this moment when we’re all here together, right now, and able to walk over to a friends house or run into someone at the grocery store. I try to explain this and end up fumbling over an unintelligible idea. I value time with people and it pains me to think we’ll never have something quite like this again. A bit of melancholy has swallowed me, but fondness of past memories and appreciation has manifested.
And that’s the best I can do for now in May, this final month of college. I am humbled by my time at UW.
Cheers to these final weeks of the quarter, undergrad, and the past seventeen years of school. Where did time go and how did everything change so quickly, who knows. What I do know is that I’m going to try and make these last few weeks the most memorable and fun, let’s do this May.